Leonard Knows Best

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So.  I actually went out with someone.  Someone from a dating site on the internet.  The first one I’ve found that I actually wanted to meet in person. Well, that’s not quite true, the second one.  The first one turned out to be just starting a relationship, so that just didn’t pan out.  No problem, I get that.  From what I gather, it’s going quite well for him – so, it can be done!  I just have crummy timing.

We met for coffee.  I’m not going to say a lot about it, because it’s private, and I don’t know where it’s going, if anywhere.  But it was okay.  I didn’t die.  I felt good.  I don’t know if he’s Mister Right,  I don’t know him well enough yet.  But he wasn’t Mister Run-Screaming, or Mister Not-in-a-Million years.  It was good.  We talked for a couple of hours (without TOO many awkward silences) like grownups, and parted if not friends, then at least as pleasant new acquaintances.  It was a good experience.  We had a lot in common.

It can be done.  There are people out there.

I just wonder, though…I feel better right now than I have in a long time.  Whether that new mindset is a result of being single and feeling unfettered, or whether it’s a result of lifestyle improvements, or some combination of the two, I don’t know.

I always feel judged in a relationship.  Like I have to maintain a certain standard of appearance, like I have to be constantly entertaining.  Like I have to report to a higher-up about my behaviour.  Mostly, though, I feel like I’m not being my truest self, because there are bits I really have to protect others from.  I’m rather enjoying being accountable only to myself.  I hold myself to high standards;  I also know when I need to cut myself some slack.

Maybe I just need to be in a relationship with ME.  I know what I like.  😉

Leonard Cohen often knows best, I think.

Namaste

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One response »

  1. When in doubt listen to Leonard Cohen. 🙂

    Yes, have a relationship with yourself. Then all those “supposed to’s” and “shoud’ves” out there in the world won’t matter. In the meantime enjoy all the new people in your life.

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