I’m a snob. I’m not a money-snob. I’m not a possessions-snob, or an accomplishments-snob. I’m – a niceness snob.
Know thyself, they say. I do. A huge part of my makeup is a complete inability to forgive and forget. I’ve had people cut me out of their lives for shitty things I’ve done, and I understand that. I do the same thing. I’ve managed some small degree of forgiveness for some over the years, but forgetting is for suckers. Fool me once, shame on you… I don’t know if anyone I’ve wronged in the past has forgiven me. That’s up to them, I guess.
I was looking at a picture of myself from my highschool graduation, that a friend recently posted on Facebook. I’m still that person, deep inside. The wounds that cut her still fester, but from the distance of my middle age, I should be able to let that shit go, right? Some of it I have discarded, but some will always remain. It’s made me a little more wary, a bit cautious with my affections, but certainly no less opinionated.
The difference now is that I no longer voice my negative opinions. I just slip away, and avoid those persons who irritate me. It’s better for everyone, trust me. You live your life, I’ll live mine, and we’ll both be happier for it. If I like you, you’ll know it. If I don’t, you probably don’t care anyway and are not pining away for my affection.
Facebook’s a funny place. The teenagers today see it as a status symbol to have a huge number of “friends”. Me, I’m constantly whittling mine down. I don’t need news about people I don’t like. I don’t need to have memories of past transgressions taking up real estate in my head. People who make me feel rotten about myself are obviously not my “friends”, regardless of what Facebook says, no matter how long I’ve known them.
On the upside, I’ve become better acquainted with some truly lovely people through this medium, a few of whom I’ve not ever met in person (hi Saff and Viv). I’ve reconnected with people from my past, and am enjoying new levels of old friendships. It’s interesting how people change, and yet essentially stay the same.
I keep the nice ones. That’s pretty much my only criteria.