A Year from Inside


I try to do an annual recap here, and talk about triumphs and lessons and general newsy things.

It’s been an odd year, though, a year of loss and mindfulness and yet through those things, some growth as well.   It’s been a year of both creating and letting go.  It’s been a year of both bitterness and gratitude.  It’s really been a year of unexplainable internals, and is therefore a bit hard to blog about!

This is probably the vaguest post ever, I know.  It’s really hard to come up with much good from this past year, and as I don’t want to dwell on the negative, I’ll just say it was a year lived deeply, and with great thought, and appropriate measures of humility and hubris; and a year in which I bumped up against some hard truths, about myself and others.

We have to have these times, and learn these lessons.  On a lot of fronts, I think I’ve come to a better understanding of myself and my place in the world.  I don’t think I’m who I thought I was, or who I’ve been told that I was.

Growth is good.  Change is hard;  stretching hurts.  Muscles grow by tearing and mending, and I think the heart does too.   Is the opposite of winning really losing, or is it learning?

In general, what I’ve really learned is that standing up to people is hard, and sometimes you don’t make any friends by doing it, but you make a little peace inside.  I’ve learned about taking things for granted.  I’ve learned to admit that sometimes I need a little help, and that I am in fact deserving of assistance.  I’ve learned to bite my tongue and bide my time, a little bit, at least.   I’ve learned that it’s okay to sometimes hold unpopular opinions, and that sticking to your guns for something you believe in is more important than fitting in with a group. I’ve learned to try new things, and some of them have been successful, and some of them have not.  I’ve learned that history repeats itself in ugly and in beautiful ways.

So, that’s it really.  What have you gotten from 2015?




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