Black Dog

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I thought these days were over, I haven’t had one in such a long time. I’m anxious, and overwhelmed, and weepy. This will either go away in a few days, or turn into a major depression. I’m not feeling super good physically (I think I’m fighting off a bug or something) but that’s not all of it. I’ve got a lot on my plate right now between family problems, work burnout and starting to get anxious over upcoming surgery. Not enough time with my man, too, frankly – our work schedules suck (in that they are completely opposite – night and day, hyuk hyuk…) and it’s bringing me down. I miss him. Ironic that I finally found the right one, but it’s such a challenge to find time together. Maybe we need a time-traveling mailbox?

I’m feeling constantly exhausted and spread out way too thin. I feel disorganized and unprepared, like I could get ambushed again at any time. If you ever want to totally fuck up an introvert, try to force a confrontation on them. We will run a thousand miles in the other direction, believe me, and it’s unlikely that we will ever trust you again. As well, the endorphin train isn’t running very well, as I’ve slacked off the gym over the holidays, which is probably another big piece, but there’s something beyond all of that, too. I have – A Bad Feeling.

Laugh if you want to, but I’m pretty intuitive, and when I have a bad feeling, it generally means something. Bad things happen. Seriously.

What now, Universe?

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2 responses »

  1. I don’t know what the universe has in store for you but you’ve got some good instincts and what you’ve said makes sense. And what you’ve said (among other things) is that you need some really basic stuff: sleep, exercise, good lovin’. One step at a time with the things that you can control. And know that a bunch of us are out here rootin’ for you (even if there is a threat of never hearing from you again. Me, I’m taking a risk here by responding.) xo

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