Tonight I have plans with friends, two of the smartest, most compassionate women I know.
It’s funny, I don’t really relate to the traditional idea of “Girl’s Night Out”, i.e. let’s go get hammered and diss every man who’s ever done us wrong. Never been a girly-girl. Don’t like going to the hairdresser or the manicurist. My favourite shoes are my purple Chuck Taylors. I’m horribly uncomfortable playing weird games at wedding showers. If I like your baby, I might want to hold him, but don’t try to make me, and no, it DOESN’T make me “want to have another one”. Are you fucking NUTS?
What I DO like is witty conversation, laughing, sharing the insane joy in our lives, supporting each other through our troubles. Talking about ideas, not gossiping about people. What have you read lately, what are you thinking? What’s making you happy right now? What’s pissing you off?
One of these woman I’ve been friends with since the sixth grade. She was my maid of honour at my wedding (not her fault that that didn’t pan out…). We’ve never had an argument. She is one of the most intelligent people I know, and reads stuff for pleasure that you and I struggled with as required reading in university. She’s deep and caring, and gives tirelessly of herself to everyone around her, both in her career and to her family and friends.
The other is a more recent friend, I’m trying to recall how long – less than ten years, at any rate. She’s also incredibly brainy, and compassionate to the point where I think the world is sometimes too painful for her to contemplate. Her heart is on her sleeve, and everyone who knows her loves her, but she doesn’t even know it.
The interesting thing is, they have a lot in common, these two. We had planned a trip together a few months ago, but it turned out that due to a family emergency, only two of us could go, which was a drag. So, they’ve never actually met, these two. It’s one of those “gee, I love them both so much, what if they don’t get along” scenarios.
I just can’t see it happening though. As friend M commented about a mutual new colleague “I LOVE her. She’s one of us, Lynne.” And I know what she means. Not “one of us” in a cliquish, snobbish sense, but quite the opposite. It doesn’t take money, status or beauty to be “one of us”. It just takes a similar, joyful, intelligent worldview.
I have so many female friends who are “one of us”. We gravitate towards each other, and support each other. That’s how the world works, not through pettiness, gossip and jealousy, but through mutual feminine admiration and support. Women, we’re making the world a kinder, fairer, gentler place, all together. No longer divided by our relative “worth” as determined by another gender, we’re much freer now to call the shots and impose our own values on the world around us.
I love being “one of us”. We’re pretty fucking awesome.