Driving Me Crazy


Today I am spouting off about drivers who bug me.  This is just a rant.  In no particular order, they are:

Honkies. People who just can’t keep their hand off the horn. The horn is to alert others to your presence, to avoid dangerous situations. It’s not to tell people “hey, you just pissed me off”.

People with tinted windows. Honestly, what are you hiding in there? The fact that I can’t see your face does not allow you to drive like an idiot with impunity.  Often one and the same as the boombox on wheels.  Yes, I can hear your stereo.  Actually, I can feel it in my liver.

Drivers who pass you in a big hurry, then get in front of you and slow to a crawl.  Drivers who speed up when you’re trying to pass them, then slow to a crawl again so you can’t pass.


People who can’t park worth a crap, and take up two spaces and just don’t care.  Graduates of the Dean Martin School of Parking.

People who park in my designated spot out front of my place. 17 isn’t just a random number. It’s my unit number (see: “Lease”). I don’t sleep on your couch, so don’t park in my spot. I will have you towed.  Yes, I AM that big of a bitch.

People who run red lights.

People who don’t watch for cyclists.

People who don’t signal their intentions.

People who gawk all around them and don’t pay attention to what they’re doing.  See also, people who talk on their cel phones or text while they’re driving.

People without permits who park in handicapped spots.

People who don’t do the “courtesy wave” when you offer them a courtesy.  I did it to be nice, not because you are The Queen and it is Your Due.

I drive a 12 year old Chevy Cavalier, which spent five years commuting.  It’s rusting to bits.  It’s missing a hubcap, the a/c hasn’t worked for years, and the driver’s side window won’t roll down.   That car owes me nothing.

Don’t mess with a woman in a worthless car, dude.


5 responses »

  1. I can’t believe you forgot “people who neglect to notice that they have an advanced green”. Out-of-towners at Landsdowne/High, I’m looking at YOU!

  2. people who don’t signal their intentions are annoying as shit both in traffic and in everyday, pedestrian life.

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