Geek Love

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Those who talk about it the most, do it the least, right?

Okay. So, I haven’t had any for nearly a year now. A YEAR. Well, ten months, but feels like a year. Feels like ten years. And I’m a big fan, believe me. I’m all about the boot-knockin’.

So, why don’t I just go out and get me some? A little cheap, drunken, one-night-stand stuff? I don’t know. I just can’t. It’s just not in me (no pun intended, but it came out funny, didn’t it?). Sometimes I think that’s what I want, but it’s not.

What I miss is the intimacy, the vulnerability, and the physical closeness. One begets the other. I’m a Romantic, yes I am, believe it or not. The World’s Most Cynical Romantic. I’m starting to think that what I want doesn’t actually exist.

See, I want the whole thing. I want the sex, AND the company. I want the intelligent discourse, and the dirty talk. I want the passion and the caring. Yeah, baby, I want you to respect me in the morning, and ring my bell tonight.

I don’t think my expectations are out of line with my feminism, either. I don’t hate men, quite the opposite. I like them. Maybe too much. I just wish I could find one I can relate to on the same level I can with my close female friends. Not a chick in a dude-body, but someone who thinks like I do.

I’m such a weirdo. I’m a full-fledged, body-mind-spirit weirdo, too. If you’re an incredibly beautiful weirdo, you can usually get away with it, I think. But we don’t get to choose to be incredibly beautiful. We get what we’re dealt. I’m not complaining, mind you, I just am what I yam. I’m just an across-the-board all-purpose weirdo.

This could take a while, kids.

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One response »

  1. i dunno Lynne… I just don’t think you are a weirdo. I do think that you will definitely find someone who fits the bill you’ve described if only because you are putting it out there, asking for what you want. Just be careful though… One of my favourite sayings is “Be careful what you ask for, for you will surely get it”.

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