Godfearing Lady


*heavy sigh*

The nice people at match.com say that I’m too restrictive in my matching criteria. I don’t think I’m bizarrely fussy, either, but why should I waste my time on someone who’s not right for me? I probably wouldn’t make them happy, either. So, they rarely offer me any matches, instead showing me pages of people they think I “might be interested in”.

Really? REALLY? What the hell makes them think that?

I’ve dabbled around on a few dating sites. I have yet to make any connections that interest me. There was one very early on, who had just started a relationship. (which I understand is going well, so, cheers, dude!). Since then, I’ve got some really weird e-mails. “Hey, pretty lady”. I don’t think I need to reiterate my stand on being called a lady. Also, one who seemed otherwise not so bad (apart from being a little on the not-so-tall side for my tastes), who blew it for me when he told me he was looking for someone “Godfearing”. Any tiny spark of interest I may have had went right out the window. I could have overlooked the height issue (pun intended), but that freaked me out.

I think God and I have an excellent relationship. It’s just not fear-based. I’m grateful, and try to be decent to people. Sometimes shit happens. Not God’s fault, shit just happens. Deal with it. God’s not up there in the sky with the Junior Science Workshop throwing together experiments. Things happen, God is in how we deal with them. To me, God=Karma. What goes around comes around, eventually. Sometimes it takes a long time, that’s all. If you are the kind of person who cares, others will in turn care back.

It’s just a great big hippy-dippy love fest, no? Just play nice, and generally the other kids will play nice too. There will always be the odd bird who doesn’t, but mostly people are okay. Those odd birds are often the product of other odd birds who in turn treated them badly. Don’t blame God. Maybe it’s a test.

I just find the idea of being afraid of God kind of weird. Why should I be? Doesn’t God love us unconditionally and forgive us? If God is omniscient, surely to Him (or Her, I use “Him ” loosely here as a pronoun of convenience, “It” seems disrespectful) He knows that we fuck up. In the interest of self-preservation, we sometimes make selfish choices that maybe aren’t so great for the rest of humanity.

I prefer to think of myself a “Godadmiring”, or maybe “Godthanking”. But Godfearing, I ain’t. God’s been pretty good to me so far.


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