Interesting Monsters


Don’t get me wrong here.  I love my kids.  As they’ve gotten older and become more like real people who can be reasoned with, I love them more and more.

But oh, those of you who know my little family well, you know that we have certainly had our challenges, big and small.

My kids are both:  intelligent, socially conscious, challenging, compassionate and inquisitive.

Oh yeah – and – REALLY FREAKIN’ TALL.

“Lynne – your kids are tall?  Really?  What kind of genetic fluke could cause THAT?”

So, today I have a day planned with Mister Moose, my ‘little fella’.  We’re going to have some brunch, and then we’re going out to Primitive Designs to have a poke around and maybe do a little holiday shopping. Afterwards, though, we are going on a hunt for the elusive size 15 triple E shoe.  You can’t get those bad boys on sale at Walmart, believe me.

Fat or thin, I’ve always had trouble getting clothes to fit.  I’m all legs.  It annoys me that if you’re a size 22 and five foot two, why then you’re classified as a “petite” and can get a wide range of attractive trousers.  On me, though, honey, they’re capris.  Men’s pants don’t fit me right.  I’m a curvy girl, with junk in mah trunk.  Tall Girl has pants, but they’re usually upward of $75 a pair, and we don’t have a local store.  Pennington’s does manufacture “tall” pants, but apparently there’s no demand for them locally, so the local store doesn’t carry them.  I haven’t sat down at the sewing machine for years, although that’s probably the best answer.  My tiny mum taught me to sew when I was ten or twelve, and I used to make a lot of my own clothes.

Shoes, I can usually get away with.  If it’s an open-toe, I can wear a ten, and most places carry a ten.  Closed-toe, I need an eleven, and it’s often, although not always, available.  I like PayLess, because they organize everything by size.  I don’t have to ask some miniature sales clerk if something comes in my size.

I’d love to buy clothes off the rack in a regular store like a regular person.  Never.  Gonna.  Happen.  See that girl in the back row of the class pictures, with all the boys?  Just once, she wanted to sit demurely in the front row, ankles crossed, hands in her lap.  Never happened. 

But it’s certainly made me an Interesting Monster!

One response »

  1. My mom had size 11 feet. And when she died, one of her 4 daughters (not me) was thrilled to get every single pair of her neither trendy nor cute shoes. Bot now she has shoes of every description. When I see her today I'll ask her where they all come from. Sorry I can't help you with the trousers dilemma.

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