Salt and Pepper

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Had a few beers with Sharon last night, and as usual, the subject turned to “Boys – What the Hell is Wrong With Them?”  We didn’t come to any definite conclusions, but in retrospect, I’m not sure y’all are as bad as all THAT.  I just don’t meet nice boys in my line of work, that’s all.  And, I’ve reached the age where the good ones have all been snapped up.

How do I feel about being single?  Well.  I’m dividing my life up into chunks, I think.  The first long relationship was for family and children.  The second for romance and physical love.  I don’t know what the next phase is.  I figure that, judging from the length of the last two, I’ve got time for two or three more before I die, God willing.  I’d like it if it were just one really long one that satisfied all my needs. 

But the thing is, each of my previous relationships DID satisfy my needs – at the time.

I think I could quite happily be single for a long time, honestly.  I certainly have enough to keep me busy, goodness knows, between work, kids, hobbies, housework and the gym.  I’m at best when left to putter, I am a champion putterer.  I have friends for companionship and chit-chat.  I’ve gone off  *you know* a bit since my surgery, so I’m not even really missing that so much.  I’m pretty curmudgeonly, and I like things the way I like them.  It would have to be someone pretty damned special to change that.  It just seems that there’s huge pressure to be part of a couple, and it’s what we’re supposed to want.  I’m not so sure I do want it.  Is that weird?  Maybe. I wanted it once, desperately.  Now – not so much.

I know I’d rather be by myself than with someone who isn’t right for me.  I looked around a dating site, and – not for me.  Baseball hats, hockey fans, huntin’ and fishin’, camping, cars – nope.  And the headings “Looking for an honest woman”, “been burnt before”, “anyone real out there” – they’re just – SAD-making.   I’m not looking for someone sad.  I’d rather be happy all by myself.

This post might not be here long. I feel like it’s a little bit TMI, but I haven’t posted for a long time, and this is what was on my mind.

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