Breakfast Time


We used to like a cereal called “Crispy Critters” when we were kids. They don’t make it anymore. It gave us hives, but we ate it anyway. Hmm…maybe that’s why they don’t make it anymore…I even remember the TV jingle, “the one and only cereal that comes in shapes of animals”. And they were pink. Red dye #27 rules!

Interesting Wikipedia article – apparently it was tested in the 60’s (on me), withdrawn from the market, and tested again unsuccessfully in the late 80’s. I can tell you from the first time around, there was something seriously wrong with that s**t.

Some of the high-powered sugar giants have made it though to this century, though.  They’re always after me Lucky Charms, although now there are, like, 18 different marshmallows in them.  There used to be FOUR, kids.  Hearts, Moons, Stars and Clovers.  That’s it.  Call me a purist if you want to, but that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

I think I had a crush on Count Chocula, too.  You can keep Team Edward, I’m on Team Chocula.  Also, remember Sugar Bear?  He sounded like Barry White, man.  Little sexy for the breakfast table if you ask me.

Wash it all down with some Donald Duck orange juice (which was this GROSS canned orange juice we used to get), and Bob’s yer uncle, you’re good to go for another sugar-packed day.  Sometimes we had Rice Krispies, but they were only really any good if you put a whole bunch of sugar on top.

SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR RUUUUSSSSSHHHHH! No wonder I’m so messed up as a grownup!


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